Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
