between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
