i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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