marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
