doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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