I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
