dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
