She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Floor bacon is actually really good
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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