highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
a search helicopter?!
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
