I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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