Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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