very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
