Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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