Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
