Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
this will be a night to untag.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Randomize
