no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
