She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
apparently the secret to your success is patron
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize