it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
