you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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