My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
