Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
