But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
