i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
