final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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