As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
