well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
