I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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