I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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