one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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