Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
