I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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