5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
