At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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