I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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