omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
