dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
