i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Can Purell be used as lube?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
