So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
