wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
