So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
