my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize