It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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