just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
