Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
