put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
