what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
