vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My penis needs a shock collar
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
