My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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