Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
