I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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