you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
