Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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