His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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