You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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