whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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