Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize