Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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