you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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