I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
