this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
